How often have you been questioned about your life choices, especially after becoming a mother? And how many times has that made you question your value as a homemaker?
If I had to describe my current job, I don’t know what a fitting description would be. I completed my engineering but chose not to continue with a job that was paying me.
Instead, I took up something that cannot be quantified monetarily – being a homemaker. Which meant that I had to do something for which there is no formal training and yet I was expected to excel at from day one.
The transition from fixing up machines to figuring out the amount of dal that is consumed by my family in a month, was literally ”overnight” for me. Yet, let alone anyone else, I stopped thinking of myself as nothing but JUST a housewife.
In all honesty, looking back I feel ashamed of myself for not valuing my role enough. By thinking the way patriarchy has trained me to, I not only undermined my contribution to the family, but also that of all the women who choose to be the primary nurturer in their homes, day after day. Stay-at-home-mother (SAHM)
I am often surprised at not only myself but a lot of other progressive women who end up considering themselves unworthy of any recognition or validation only because they are not actively contributing financially for their family.
It is unbelievable how our society subtly influences the minds of young girls and women to believe that the only resource worthy of acknowledgment is money. The irony of the situation comes from the fact that a lot of these women who choose to pick their family over their careers do so under pressure from the family.
Yet, their contribution in the household is taken for granted because what they add to the family is intangible and is clearly is taken for granted.
So, let’s be honest here. I, myself, have felt I am nothing but a housewife in the past and I feel ashamed of it. But, to share a secret, I still don’t have the perfect answer to the question, “What do you do”?
But, what I do know is that I respect myself more and stand by my choice of being a homemaker every single day now.
Despite the fact that quitting my job and choosing to raise my family was a decision that I made for myself, it has taken me several years to make peace with it. All I know is that being a homemaker is a significant part of my life ( part being the operative word here).
I am much more than being a homemaker and a SAHM, and even though once in a while a little validation doesn’t hurt, I am pretty darn confident that I can do without it!!
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