After I had my baby girl, I gained a lot of weight (obvious!) and perspective about myself and life in general. And it all happened, because I decided to hop on this crazy ride called motherhood. Before I got pregnant, I tried to be as open-minded as I could be. I wanted to embark on this journey without any fear and to eventually have fun. But, little did I know, my pregnancy would be anything but fun for me. Now, don’t get me wrong. Mine was a fairly easy pregnancy with a minor bump in the road. However, as I was approaching the home stretch (read:due date) I started losing sleep. I know, it is very normal for women to lose sleep while the body is growing, but I knew that for me it was more than just physical discomfort that made me toss and turn at night. I was scared. Scared and anxious more than I could ever imagine myself to be. I tried doing everything I could. From guided meditation to reading books about labor and delivery, I tried to grab on to anything that could provide with some respite from the constant thoughts of labor pain and all the epic amount of discomfort I was going to be in. But, nothing and I mean NOTHING worked.
Finally, the day marking the completion of 40 weeks of my pregnancy arrived, which meant it was the induction day. The night before my contractions had started naturally. I knew this was not going to be fun at all. But since my contractions started on their own, I thought may be in a few hours time, I probably would be delivering my baby. Since the contractions were still tolerable, I decided to wait till a few hours had passed to go to the hospital. It was around 4 am and it had been four hours since my contractions started. It was at this point I decided I should go to the hospital with my parents and not wait any longer.
As soon as I reached the hospital, I was taken in the labor room and given the gel to soften my cervix at around 9 am. My doctor told me that it will help in the progression of labor. It only took 15 minutes for the gel to soften my insides and for me to go to some dark place in my mind. My contractions became intense and I did something everyone had advised me against doing.
I began to scream in pain. This meant I started losing my energy and stamina. All throughout, my husband was there holding me up and helping me walk inside the room. I would scream with every wave of pain that was coming. This went on and around 3 pm my doctor came to check me and give me another shot of cervix gel. And also, she told me that I was only 1 cm dilated! I was shocked. The intensity of my contractions made me believe that I must have progressed to around 4-5 cm but no, I was 9 full centimetres away from being fully dilated. I felt defeated and because of all the pain I started falling unconscious between my contractions. My contractions and my screaming continued for a few more hours. It was then, when my husband decided to speak to my doctor about a possible C-sec. My doctor said we could decide if we wanted to go in for a C-sec because I wasn’t progressing and the pain was way beyond my tolerance. I clearly remember asking them to take me in the OT and pleaded to take the baby out of me! And finally, after being in labor for over 18 hours, my beautiful daughter was born via C-sec a 6:30 pm in the evening.
The weird face though!!
I don’t think it’s true that you forget all the pain that you go through once you see your baby. I still clearly remember that day in the hospital and the amount of pain I was in. I vividly remember going out of breath and screaming my lungs out. But at the end of it, I am super proud of my what body did for me. I have a healthy baby and thankfully, all the pain is now only in my memory.